101 ways to annoy Sesshoumaru
by Midnight Shadow01
Summary: So you wanna know how to annoy, tick off, and basically drive crazy the one, the only, Lord Sesshomaru? More power to ya..but don't say you weren't warned. PS, I don't own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. She is the true artist.
1. Chapter 1

101 ways to annoy Sesshoumaru

By: youkai no kira

summary: So you wanna know how to annoy, tick off, and basically drive crazy the one, the only, Lord Sesshomaru?? More power to ya..but don't say you weren't warned. PS, I don't own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. She is the true artist.

Chapter One

101 Ways to Annoy, Tick Off, and Basically Drive Yorkies: Sesshomaru

Turn the radio to news instead of KMGL.

Ask (Kids Rin's age ONLY!) "Where do babies come from? And I know you know so just go ahead an' say it!"

Play "Chase The Jaken".

Bring stuff back from your time.

Ask if he wants to hear your new collection of knock-knock jokes.

Tell all 1,000,000,001 of'em anyway.

Hold burping contests during his monologues.

Hold yawning contests during his monologues.

Wait for him to start one of his monologues to fall asleep.

10 Ask every question you can possibly think of.

Videotape one of his battles with Inuyasha, preferably one where he ends up running off without finishing.

Send it to AFV.

Ask him if he's noticed that he has no right arm.

Get hyper.

Act so sweet he goes into insulin shock.

Play "Hide the Patsy Cline Musical Socks".

Or any of his socks, for that matter.

Play "Hide the TV Remote"

Or anything else small enough to hide, especially his nail c lippers.

Catch moths and put them in his tent (Or whatever he happens to have proclaimed his for the night.)

Frogs work well, too.

Tell him the water is _not_ 2 degrees above freezing, so jump on in.

After his feet leave the ground, say "It's not 2 degrees above; it's 1!"

Ask him why he hates Inuyasha so much.

Tell him Kagura has a bone-shattering crush on him.

Go back and tell Kagura that _he's_ the one with the crush. (Afterwards: Head for the hills!)

Sing "Oh What A Beautiful Morning" in his ear—loud.

Sorry, Keade and Muso have cows to check, and I have to go with them. Until

Next time...

Well, I guess it's next time now, huh? I got to drive today! Across the Dam three times, through Pasture 3, around the cows...and Muso let me steer on the way home!

"Get on with the story already!" Jeez, okay.

Test, whenever possible, what that word you found online means.

Make sure he gives you the full definition.

If you suspect him of even toning it down the slightest bit, check Webster's Dictionary and correct him.

Ask him why he likes socks so much. (Please, because even I can't figger this one out!)

Make up some theme music for him.

Putting words to the music is also a nice touch.

Play the music/song at inopportune moments: During his "Brilliant" monologues; before and during his battles.

Bring your Yorkie, or any dog you just happen to have handy, back with you to his time.

Insist that they are cousins.

Play "Irritate the Lower Demons."

Hide his furry thingy.

Ask when you can take driving lessons.

Play "Chase the Ahhh-ruuhm" (Or whatever that dragon thingy's name is.)

Tell Rin and Jaken every last ghost story you happen to know on a night of the full moon.

Go off on your own from time to time, and do a better job hunting than everyone else, even him.

Tell everyone to "Remain Calm" during one of his ranting and raving sessions.

Say, "There's a fine line between a demon and a nut job. Have you any idea how many times you have played Jump rope with that line?"

Get the hiccups.

Get the song "I'm too sexy for my shirt" stuck in his head.

Take a few photos of him—fighting, if possible, but looking all "You-don't-want-too-mess-with-me-and-I'm-serious" works well too.

Send them to National Inquirer.

Tell any fan girls that show up where he is at the moment.

One word: Boogers.

That's all for now. Bye.


	2. Chapter 2

101 ways to annoy Sesshoumaru

By: Youkai no Kira

Summary of Chapter: Seriously, go buy some armor, then read it. I'll wait.

Chapter 2

Ways to generally annoy, tick off, and drive crazy:

Sesshomaru

"Why, Inu-san, do you wear a feather boa?"

"You are demon. But CUTE demon. Make other demons go, whaaaaa."

"Y'know what? You are weird. And that's what makes you so cute!" Finish with big hug.

Give him coffee.

Celebrate St. Patrick's Day: Dye his hair green.

For his birthday: A can of Mighty-dog.

A squeaky toy.

A collar...and a leash!

Get a cat. Nuff said.

Give him a pet name. "Fluffy" works well.

"Don't go too hard on him. Your brother may seem rough around the edges, but inside he's just a big pussycat."

Figure out what breed of dog-demon he is. My bet's on Maltese.

Be motherly. IE: Now just wait one second! You are not fighting your brother until you _put on your helmet!!"_

Ask "why?"

"Who's a good demon? Who's a good little doggy-demon?" Scratch his ears if you dare; his leg shakes.

"Honey, there ain't no hope of winnin' nothin in that outfit."

Talk in hick-lingo. See above.

You know how spaghetti sticks to the walls when it's done? Does it stick to demons? I don't know. Let's see.

"Now, now, you two. I'm sure we can talk out this whole misunderstanding and you can share the sword..."


	3. Chapter 3

101 Ways to annoy Sesshoumaru

By: Youkai no kira

Summary for chapter: This and other chapters like it arefor Camintmier, the first and only person as of yet to review one of my fics. Arigato. Thanks!

Chapter Three

**On a review it was requested to update this fic with ways to annoy other characters. So here goes.**

101maybe Ways to annoy, tick off, peeve, and generally drive ablosutely bonkers...

Inuyasha

Hug him.

Pick up a stick. Throw it and yell, "Fetch!"

It's been proven he'll bring it back. When he does, give him a milk bone.

Brag about Naraku.

Or about Sesshomaru.

Make him and Kikyo an appointment on "Dr. Phil".

Give him caffeine. Any whatsoever except chocolate.

Confiscate his ramen.

Insist that Kagome abide the leash laws. There has to be at least one in the Sengoku era.

Give Shippo more attention.

Get him a book: "The Dummies' Guide to Girls, Egotists' Edition".

Ghost stories don't scare him. Try stories about "the big clip". On _humans._ shudder

But ghost stories scare Shippo plenty. And who does he cling to when he's scared?...

Tell him about his close, yet long-lost cousin...SHARK MUSIC Ayame Sohma.

Take him to an otaku store and expose him to the scourge of anime paraphernalia...PLUSHIES. Screams

Make him watch Hamtaro with you.

Sooner or later, he's going to be lost in thought about Kikyo. Fart.

Extol the virtues of cats.

Better yet, GET a cat.

Show him "Love Hina".

But at all costs KEEP IT AWAY FROM MIROKU.

Introduce the poor Hanyo to the wonderful world of dental hygiene. Mwahahahahahaha!

Sing Disney songs. "A Small Word" is great.

Whenever he finishes saying something, applaud. Whistle, clap, hoot, ect. LOUD.

Ask why he doesn't carry around a fluffy.

Tweak his ears.

When he says, "I've been thinking..." interrupt with "Whoa. Yay! Congrats!!" ect.

Also, the phrase "I have an announcement..." could be interrupted with "You're pregnant? Cause that would explain a LOT..."

"Who's a good Hanyo? Who's a good wittle Hanyo??" This is said while scratching behind his ears, and standing clear of his left leg.

Use baby-talk whenever possible.

As with Sesshomaru, dyeing his hair works REALLY WELL...

One word: Water Balloons.

Another word: Garden Hose.

And another: Super Soaker.

A couple more:

Honey

Watermelon

Shaving cream

Styling gel

Plastic Tokijin

Kitten

Hairbrush

Cotton balls

Kiddy Pool

Silly String

Un-silly string

Bagels

Cattle Prod

Louisville Slugger (whatever that is)

Shania Twain CD

Tickle Me Elmo doll

Glue.

Hem his Kimono up.

Act motherly.

"Y'know who you act JUST LIKE?" Dramatic pause "PIKACHU!!"

"C'mere, you big lug! And I'll give you a hug! Said Sally Mcferkle McStubble McJug."

Tell him tongue-twisters on a truck-train in Tennessee...

Put a flea collar on him.

We regret to inform you, the reader, that the author has been maimed and injured by a Half-demon, who shall remain unnamed, and is currently in critical condition. Joking about anime characters is a serious matter. It is dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals. We, the Censor Guys, bow our heads to honor the few, the proud, the facetious. Goodnight.


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